Above is the show, have fun with it. First off, EVERYONE came from the assumption that sex work is evil, except 1 person. Jerry did a horrible job even treating them like human beings. Tons and Tons of violence and verbal abuse. They at least showed a Male Sex Worker, something very uncommon in Main Stream Media(really just media in general).
All of that said, this is the first Jerry Springer I’ve ever watched.. It is oddly fascinating, mostly I think because all the emotions are very high, and it’s nice to know at least my problems aren’t *THAT* fucked up. But unless some stuff for which I care for come up, I hope to never see your show again, and in fact I hope your show changes VERY drastically. Ohh, and Jerry, learn about Sex Work BEFORE you go on the air about sex work next time please.

[From Video: An Immodest Rebuttal: Entertainment & Culture: vanityfair.com]

Cause, you know women can’t have sexuality. Please grow up Mr. Hitchen.

Obviously it MUST be a REALLY racy cover, but it’s COSMO! It’s not playboy, or gawd forbid something even something hard-core! So of course I *HAD* to look at the cover…

Some cleavage, but I mean COME ON!! I’m seriously in the WRONG place, when they have to hide cosmo, because it’s too SEXXY.

Nashville, I’m VERY glad to leave you! Never expect me back either.

Tonight’s trans support group was horrible. I totally ranted for what seems like a page, and then was like wait, everything in trans support group is confidential, so I shouldn’t even discuss the topics, but uhm ohh my goddess. I am SOOOO DONE with trans support groups. I haven’t felt even remotely supported there in a LONG time. I was going for new people, to help support them, and give them a different perspective on being trans. But uhm, I realized that it’s not really a great place for new people and I just don’t want to be a part of it.

I think this is the first time I’ve left a community because of my emotions. Not sure how I feel about that.

There was a huge paragraph here explaining this next sentence, but it involves another person so I yanked it. Confusion seems to be my new ‘now’ word. Perhaps someday I’ll understand all these emotions and feelings. Maybe? Hopefully? Probably not.

I felt some compersion about my friends successes recently. great stuff. No details on their successes here tho, sorry.

I’m scared/worried/stressed/freaked out about my trip to Atlanta. It’s the south, and I’ve only ever heard horror stories from the south. I’m worried I may not come back. I’m worried my talk is going to totally, totally suck. It’s my first talk to the sex community. Luckily I feel comfortable in front of people, and feel confident with the public speaking portion. It’s the content (it’s totally a new topic here in sex land it seems.) and I SOOO look up to these people, they are such amazing great people, and I just know they are going to laugh at me. I also have the feeling I’ll be the token tranny at this event.

Some friends said I should try to attend the pole dancing class (I really want to learn), on their advice I asked about it. I was denied. The person I asked was really great, and I still totally respect her, tho I got the feeling she really has no idea what to do with me in general. Helps firm up the token tranny thing. I was going to offer to help with registration, but perhaps it would only make her more awkward and I shouldn’t bother. gah, being a freak from societies perspective really sucks. It was the first time I tried to go to a women-only advertised event. I’ve learned my lesson it seems.

I asked the organizer about trans friendliness. She said well it’s all kinda in the glbt center of town, but I hear SF is way more supportive and ok about stuff. I get yelled at, stared at, etc regularly in SF.. What is in store for me in atlanta? I totally dressed butchy in chicago, and I got stares. Nobody yelled at me which was nice, but one restaurant was hesitant to serve me(it was a swank restaurant and I was wearing a dress and jeans that day and was alone)… I was also in boystown or something, and was pretty much always with at least one other person (and everyone I was with was totally gorgeous). I never really felt unsafe in chicago, like I do regularly in the bay area.

I’m finding it much harder to write about ME, and not include some detail about other people. This is hard, how do I respect their privacy and not disclose themselves, while still talking about me. gah. I dunno.

I had a dream about marrying this amazing person, and having a baby with them. (they currently really want a baby this year) yikes. I mean I totally love this person, but we are not 100% compatible. I totally want a baby, but our relationship is currently totally non-sexual, and I don’t know this person very well.

I got texted earlier from someone I care about a great deal with a supportive message. totally made my day, and I really needed it. Thank you!

ok, I’m trying for sleep again.

sweet dreams.

I like.

Chicago has been cold, but I felt warm and loved and accepted. This is soo rare for me, that it was really awesome and great. I didn’t once have to defend myself as a trans person, and I forgot how often I have to do that, sometimes even with my friends. I only felt judged once, when I was at dinner with 2 MTF’s who definitely pass. I think their judgement was that I am a total newbie to trans-land. They were still really nice tho, and I didn’t feel bad around them. I definitely have to do that with the general public constantly. When I got to the airport section, where the conference is I was rapidly dumped back into ‘reality’ and constant stares, un-acceptance and sometimes hatred. Plus this place is beef, beef and more beef, and all meals start at $20.00 a person. This is definitely expense-account neighborhood. Men and Women are only in business suits, with the occasional guy in more relaxed clothing. I definitely stand out here. Maybe someday I can have a community like that all the time, who just accept me for me, familiar with trans stuff and we can move along to me being a person. Unfortunately the trans community which does this for many trans people doesn’t do it for me. Why do I always have to be the freak!?

Also, we had another big media blitz on the sex worker community because of this NY governor mess. I think it’s a mess. Tho we do seem to be eeking out a little bit more time and space with the media every time this happens, and we get more chances to talk about SW rights. By and large of course, what the media generally wants is the oppressed hooker. I just want to thank the few (and growing I feel) media outlets who are letting us talk about SW rights, and happy hookers, strippers, etc. More safe voices for SW’s please.