Practicing to be an Earth Goddess


The last few days…
March 13, 2008, 7:37 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’ve been hanging out with SWOP-Chicago the last few days, and it’s been really nice and fun. It’s nice to see another SW rights community, and get to know them. I had the honor of some great company, and one person was really good for me. I realized that I need people who are out emotionally, and willing to be emotional around me to help me battle my fear of emotions. I still have a great deal of fear around having emotions, since they are still so new.

Chicago has been cold, but I felt warm and loved and accepted. This is soo rare for me, that it was really awesome and great. I didn’t once have to defend myself as a trans person, and I forgot how often I have to do that, sometimes even with my friends. I only felt judged once, when I was at dinner with 2 MTF’s who definitely pass. I think their judgement was that I am a total newbie to trans-land. They were still really nice tho, and I didn’t feel bad around them. I definitely have to do that with the general public constantly. When I got to the airport section, where the conference is I was rapidly dumped back into ‘reality’ and constant stares, un-acceptance and sometimes hatred. Plus this place is beef, beef and more beef, and all meals start at $20.00 a person. This is definitely expense-account neighborhood. Men and Women are only in business suits, with the occasional guy in more relaxed clothing. I definitely stand out here. Maybe someday I can have a community like that all the time, who just accept me for me, familiar with trans stuff and we can move along to me being a person. Unfortunately the trans community which does this for many trans people doesn’t do it for me. Why do I always have to be the freak!?

Also, we had another big media blitz on the sex worker community because of this NY governor mess. I think it’s a mess. Tho we do seem to be eeking out a little bit more time and space with the media every time this happens, and we get more chances to talk about SW rights. By and large of course, what the media generally wants is the oppressed hooker. I just want to thank the few (and growing I feel) media outlets who are letting us talk about SW rights, and happy hookers, strippers, etc. More safe voices for SW’s please.

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